It’s a slow yearly dance, but it always has an element of hope for next spring. Do you look for hope in the time of endings?
I love the colours of fall, but realize that it represents a dying of sorts…a long sleep in the cold dark winter. I have been meditating on a story told to me by my uncle many years ago. He actually told this to my two brothers and I. It’s a really good story. I’ll do my best to tell it as closely to how I remember it as I can.
I remember my oldest brother asking him how things were. He said this: for years I have had my ship in the water going full steam ahead. My engine was going with all its might and my rudder allowed me to have full control of where I was going. But then out of the blue I got hit by a huge tsunami. It didn’t kill me or capsize me, but it took away my rudder and killed my engine. I had no way to point my ship anymore and nothing to propel me anywhere. Basically dead in the water. That is until I realized that I could put up a sail and let the wind take me where it will.
It’s a story I’ve been thinking of as I have basically been smacked hard by this injury. I have no idea how to go from here. So I’m doing the only thing that makes sense. I feel like I just lost all control. I don’t command this ship anymore. I’m putting up a sail and just seeing where the wind of the spirit will take me.
I don’t know that I’m not scared. But at least I know I’ll be taken care of. And this crazy dangerous season has the prospect of better days ahead. I don’t know how or when, but I have to let go and ride it out.